Fly (To The Kid I Was) – Paul Xmas | Official Lyric Video (Second Release)
LYRICS
11th March 2026
This song came from a version of me I almost left behind.
It's called FLY (TO THE KID I WAS).
Somewhere along the way, I almost forgot him. The kid with the dreams. The kid with the ridiculous hope. The kid who believed there was still a sky with my name on it, even when the grown-up version of me started looking more at the floor.
Then one day, he came back.
This is FLY:
Not as a ghost. Not as a motivational speech. More like a feeling I couldn't ignore. Like something small inside me pulling my sleeve and saying, "Hey, we still have dreams to catch".
That line in the song, "I'm glad you came and gave me a purpose", is for him.
The kid I was. The one I nearly disappointed. The one I still don't want to disappoint.
There are big feelings in this song, but there are small dreams too. A piece of land somewhere on the mountainside. A farm. Ponds. Flowers. Begonias. Cats and dogs and ducks and a little corner of the world quiet enough to breathe in.
Maybe that sounds simple.
It isn't.
Sometimes the smallest dreams are the ones that keep me alive.
I think, in some way, this song is about trying to live a life the kid I used to be wouldn't be ashamed of. Maybe even proud of. I still don't fully know what that life looks like, but I know I don't want to become someone he would have given up on.
I've had days where staying alive felt heavier than it should. Days where the future looked like a locked door and I did not even know where I put the key. Then something shifted. Not everything. Just enough. A small reason. A small light. A small piece of meaning I could hold in my hands without dropping it.
Life moves whether you are ready or not. It breaks things. It rebuilds things. It leaves questions hanging like old laundry in the rain. There are old prayers in this song too. Old guilt. Old love. The kind of brokenness that does not leave just because you learned how to laugh louder.
But this song is not me trying to sound healed.
I'm not. Not fully. Maybe not neatly.
This is me remembering.
Remembering the kid I once was. The old paths I used to walk like they would stay there forever. The afternoons that looked like faded film. The kind of light I only understood after it was gone. There are moments I can never get back. Not really. I can remember them, I can miss them, I can visit them in my head, but I cannot knock on the door and become that kid again.
So while there is still time, maybe it is okay to lose something else.
A job. A plan. A version of life that looked sensible from the outside but felt dead in my hands.
Maybe it is better to lose the wrong thing than lose the part of me that still knows how to fly.
I am remembering that I wanted something once. That the younger me had fire in his hands before the world taught him to hide the matches. That growing older does not always mean becoming someone else completely.
Maybe it means going back for the kid I abandoned, taking his hand, and finally trying to fly where we were supposed to go.
And if you have forgotten that part of yourself too, maybe your wings are not dead.
Maybe they were folded inside the part of you that never stopped believing.
Maybe this is where you remember how high you were meant to go.
Maybe you just forgot you had a damn sky to trouble.
/// Chorus ///
I am alive, and I'm still breathing, this life is short and I,
don't wanna go to sleep with all this raging madness deep inside
I'm glad you came and gave me a purpose, you're the reason I can't die just yet
I'll live on to see you fly
/// Verse ///
Take me to the water
That's the fountain of life I seek
I walked through the fire
Didn't run from the blazing heat
Still standing now, and I'm loving the rain
Come what may, any weather I'd brave
Right here now, I let the heavens paint
Be grey or ray of day the winds gave
I know that I can fly
You can't tell me otherwise
I know that I can fly
That's why...
/// Chorus ///
I am alive, and I'm still breathing, this life is short and I,
don't wanna go to sleep with all this raging madness deep inside
I'm glad you came and gave me a purpose, you're the reason I can't die just yet
I'll live on to see you fly
/// Verse ///
I want to make enough money so I can buy
a piece of land somewhere on the mountainside
Build a small farm, ponds, garden full of flowers
I love Begonias and cats and dogs and ducks and all
But if I die tomorrow, so be it, it's unescapable
I was never a good person, heaven's a place I could never go
Used to love the Rosary so much and now I'm a heathen
Used to love deeply, but I guess we're all broken
But I know that I can fly
You can't tell me otherwise
I know that I can fly
That's right.
And I know that you can fly
They can't tell you otherwise
I know that you can fly
That's right.
/// Chorus ///
I am alive, and I'm still breathing, this life is short and I,
don't wanna go to sleep with all this raging madness deep inside
I'm glad you came and gave me a purpose, you're the reason I can't die just yet
I'll live on to see you fly
I am alive, and I'm still breathing, this life is short and I,
don't wanna go to sleep with all this raging madness deep inside
I'm glad you came and gave me a purpose, you're the reason I can't die just yet
I'll live on to see you fly
End.